Monday, January 11, 2016

biodegradable urn


Today I was given a bag containing a water soluble plastic bag with instructions to let cremated remains cool before placing them into the bag. Once in the bag--

But as I'm reading the instructions, I'm wondering what would happen if someone accidentally splashed water on the water soluble bag. How quickly does the bag dissolve? Would there be ashes--the cooled, cremated remains--all over the table or the floor? Or whoever was holding the water soluble bag before it solubled?

The bag is put inside a sand and gelatin urn, which the instructions claim is suitable for water burial. The urn will float "briefly", taking on water, and sink...

How long is briefly? Time to play a sonata if someone brought her cello out on the boat? I'm fond of cello solos.  Bach, if anyone is taking requests.

The urns will biodegrade completely within 3 days. However, the time the urn takes to sink varies depending on the weight of the remains. This is one time when it's not good to be slim and fashionable. Unless, of course, there's a mango and cranberry sunset. If there's any consciousness left in the remains, she/he/it might appreciate floating on the water to bask for a while. Sinking is all that's left to do for the rest of eternity, so who's in a rush?

The biodegradable urn can also be buried, though caution must be taken not to drip water onto the urn or it will begin to dissolve. Buried, the urn will break down within 3 months, depending on soil conditions.

I'll put the bag with the water soluble bag and instructions on a bookshelf. You have my permission to use it for my remains when the time comes. Only be careful with water. You'll have to get an urn too. I was only given the bag.


2 comments:

  1. Laughed, as they say, out loud a few times while reading this. You have the most wonderfully analytic mind. Who else would get from utilitarian 'sad sack' to mango sunsets, cello solos and Bach. *still smiling*

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  2. Always pleased to tickle you, Matilda.

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